I'm a Professional

by Ardeem

supported by
Jacob Kinniburgh
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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $7 AUD

     

  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    It's beautiful, just beautiful.

    And it comes in a gorgeous digipak. You can really FEEL it, you know?

    AND it is SO professional. You will love it.

    Or, you could chuck the MP3 files in your iTunes library and use the CD mainly as a status symbol – without even taking it out of its case! Perhaps you could leave it around the house as a conversation starter? That way, your friends will like you and think you are interesting.

    So buy it. Right now.

    Includes unlimited streaming of I'm a Professional via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 4 days

      $20 AUD

     

  • This is the big-daddy/mama (because Ardeem Inc. is a non-gender-biased organisation) of Ardeem merch. Basically, you get ALL the stuffs:

    • A signed 'Love' CD
    • A signed 'I'm a Professional' CD
    • A literally unique piece of Ardeem ephemera with signed card – basically, something SPECIAL from my life that I have been unable to let go of. Until now.
    • A Hack sweetie (from Africa. Oooh, exotic)
    • A 'Love' Badge
    • A sticker and magnet to help you discover and enjoy ardeem.com/tuesday
    • A 'Love' Card Deck
    • Bonus Download cards for 'Love' and 'I'm a Professional'
    • A 'Love' Iron-on transfer
    • An 'I'm a Professional' Iron-on transfer


    And it actually comes in a bag. So there.

    Includes unlimited streaming of I'm a Professional via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.     ... more
    ships out within 4 days

      $50 AUD or more 

     

1.
04:18
lyrics
2.
04:11
lyrics
3.
04:00
lyrics
4.
02:59
lyrics
5.
03:21
lyrics
6.
04:01
lyrics
7.
02:53
lyrics
8.
06:20
lyrics

credits

released October 6, 2013

All tracks composed, performed, recorded and produced by Jacob Kinniburgh

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all rights reserved

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about

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Ardeem Melbourne, Australia

After being raised on a farm, many years at University and a year in Africa, Ardeem has skilfully honed his dynamic personality, extensive knowledge of cows and musical ingenuity to a sharp and shiny point. This point has now become the point of his endeavours. Intensely aware of the possibility of ending up another could-have-been, Ardeem is pulling his finger out.

Good. ... more

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Track Name: Need a Little Something
Living in my hope, that you
Will embrace, comfort support, me too

I see you alone through the windowpane
Bathed in streaks of dusty glow,
I see you, want you, must have, need you
That much for sure I know I know.

Living in my hope, that you
Will embrace, comfort support, me too
Whenever I come home, you'll be there
My all will always be yours, I swear

We all need a little something
To help us get up in the morning
Come on, you know you can be mine
And I'll be yours, we'll be fine

We all need a little something
To help us get up in the morning
Get in the back of my van

I'll take you home
I'll lay you down
You'll squeak and groan
No-one's around

And there you'll stay
Safe in my room
Behave yourself and all this could come true soon

Living in my hope, that you
Will comfort, embrace, support, me too
Whenever I come home, you'll be there
My favourite, remote-controlled, armchair

We all need a little something
Help us get up in the morning
Come on, you know you can be mine
And I'll be yours, we'll be fine

We all need a little something
To help us get up in the morning
Get in the back of my van
Track Name: White Man Blues
I'm a white man - got dem white man blues
Ain't got no culture or colour, 'cept these postmodern hues
My ancestors did some bad, bad shit
'Cos I'm a sensitive white man - I'm feelin' it
The notes in this song are not even my own
I took what they had - now I call it my own
I'm so enlightened, I bitch and I moan:
"Got dey white man blues"

Stole my meal from an Indian
Stole my beats from an African
My laptop was made by a Chinaman
And I stole my house from a Koori

My moves took from a Brazilian
Relaxing I stole from a Chilean
And I am just one of the millions
We rape, we steal, we pray

To our god who is infinite
He smashes you, with your chicken guts
We build a church near your muddy huts
You bow your head in shame

Shame on you for your silly games
Your funny talk and your odd names
Try living with all of the blame
Our self-imposed, white man shame

Wait, I'm talking like it's us and them
This song is part of the problem
I just can't help being postmodern
Man, being white is tough.

I feel it, I got it, da white man blues
Dem burnin', dem turnin', dem white man blues
Me whiteman, me blue, me white man blues
La ba dee la ba di Me white man blues

How can I sleep at night (Repeat)

I'm a white man - got dem white man blues
Ain't got no culture or colour, 'cept these postmodern hues
Educated, verbose - I use big words
Others, with they brothers, they struggle to be heard
But how can we help it, us poor little caucs?
Don't got none of our own, 'cept for knifes and forks
We have no culture, no accent, no colour
Come on guys, let's just share with each other

Let's leave the past behind us, we'll all start anew
A big brown circle, the circle of life - yeah, we stole that too

I'm a white man - got dem white man blues
Ain't got no culture or colour, 'cept these postmodern hues
Educated, verbose - I use big words
Others, with they brothers, they struggle to be heard
But how can we help it, us poor little caucs?
Don't got none of our own, 'cept for knifes and forks
We have no culture, no accent, no colour
Come on guys, let's just share with each other
Track Name: Save You
With a wrench of iron and a will of steel
Tighten my cap and make my way to you
Pipe to pipe and all around the world
Hold tight, I'm coming for you

And I think that I can save you
And I think that I can save you
Setting out to come and get you
I know that I can save you, save you

I hear your cries in my head at night
I see the pain in your smile, I hear your
Silent, desperate call for help, you
Look out at me, and I see you, and

I'm running, jumping, flying
Propelled by a force I do not understand
Outmanoeuvre those in my way
Crack their heads if need be

And I think that I can save you
And I think that I can save you
Take a warp pipe if I need to,
Vanquish all to save you

And I know that I can save you
And I know that I can save you
Save you from your misfortune
I know that I can save you, save you

Tarnished by my past, my soul's bruised, so I
Look outside myself and try to save those
Broken like me, veneered but suffering, I'm
Driven to fix the world, a vain attempt to save my
Self

Still I thought that I could save you...
Still I thought that I could save you...

And I thought that I could save you
I'd be strong enough to carry you
Over lava, life and on through
I thought that I could save you

And I thought that I could save you
Hoped by saving you, that I too
Would be whole and content, with you
I thought that I could save you...

And I thought that I could save you
And I thought that I could save you
But I'm lacking, not strong enough to
Share your load and save you

And I thought that I could save you
And I thought that I could save you
Just to realise that it's not true
That I can't really save you

I know now that I can't save you
Though I really truly wanted to
I'm sorry, I can't help you
I can't really save you

And I thought that I could save you
Misguided, confused, I tried to
Do it for us, also for me too
Now I'm needing someone to save me
Track Name: Say To You
What do I have to say to you?

Staring at my computer screen, I try to establish what I mean
Establish, accomplish, demonstrate, while fearing that I am too late
Too late, too overwhelmed, too slow, too empty, nothing inside to show
The spiritual, emotional depth of a thimble, full to the brim with my deep thoughts

What do I have to say to you?

The crumbling sweetness of a shortbread dream
Now what the fuck does that even mean?
And the hollow aphoristic, diet-coke colon-cleansing mystics
Or unrepentant astrological neo-spiritual, yet capitalist
'Sharing', 'caring' but self-serving, wearing robes and gowns and ever-bearing
down on us who just want to
Know what it is that we're meant to do
Who we are and where we're going
Without believing, just wanting knowing

What do I have to say to you?

Uninterested, uninteresting
The weather, TV, the same old things
Participation a social capitulation

What do I have to say to you?
Track Name: Dream
You say you'll help me
You say you care
You say together now
Light the lonely dark

I gave you comfort
I gave you gold
The corner of my mind
It wonders...

I fought, got killed and where were you?
You lay asleep beside me
I called your name, but you weren't there,
Defenseless alone, can't protect me
And you weren't there, yet you were near
I'm learning now where it is that I stand, clear
You can't help me
Now I'm waiting for, and I'm waiting for, and I'm waiting for,
the morning

I wanted you, near me
keep me, standing
I wanted you, to hold me
keep me, intact
I wanted you, to protect me,
keep up your end of the deal
I wanted you, I thought I knew

I fought, got killed and where were you?
You lay asleep beside me
I called your name, but you weren't there,
Defenseless alone, can't protect me
And you weren't there, yet you were near
I'm learning now where it is that I stand, clear
You can't help me
Now I'm waiting for, and I'm waiting for, and I'm waiting for,
the morning

Now I'm waiting for the morning
Lying, hoping for the day
My dreams, my life, alone they haunt me
But there's nothing you can do or say

I fought, got killed and where were you?
You lay asleep beside me
I called your name, but you weren't there,
Defenseless alone, can't protect me
And you weren't there, yet you were near
I'm learning now where it is that I stand, clear
You can't help me
Now I'm waiting for, and I'm waiting for, and I'm waiting for,
the morning
Track Name: Kansalla Jackpot
At the Kansalla Jackpot, you will roll the dice
You close your eyes, call to Allah and pray
At the Kansalla Jackpot, praying every night
You roll, you flip, you call, you win, you think

We'll hit the town, at the Kansalla Jackpot, baby
We're goin' down, to roll the dice and what's more,
We're goin' down, to the Kansalla Jackpot, baby
We're spinning round and round, the roulette wheel's spinning, it's spinning 'round at the….

At the Kansalla jackpot, you must roll the dice
The ball's in motion, with blind devotion you pray
Uncertainty's looming, doubt is blooming, but still
You roll, you flip, you call, you win, you think

We'll hit the town, at the Kansalla Jackpot, baby
We're goin' down, to roll the dice and what's more,
We're goin' down, to the Kansalla Jackpot, baby
We're spinning round and round, the roulette wheel's spinning, it's spinning 'round at the….

At the Kansalla Jackpot, your bet's already made, the wheel is spinning
Your choices, actions, here displayed, the wheel is spinning
No matter what you think, feel, wish, or wanted, were hoping for
You've got to dig in, back it up, all fears and doubts ignore

Persistence over confidence, persistence over confidence,
At the Kansalla Jackpot, it only makes sense, to show persistence, despite your lack of
Confidence, overrated, unneeded – the voice in your head can go unheeded
In life if you lack confidence, the wheel's already spinning

So let's...

Hit the town, at the Kansallah Jackpot, baby
We're goin' down, to roll the dice and what's more,
We're goin' down, to the Kansallah Jackpot, baby
We're spinning round and round, the roulette wheel's spinning, it's spinning 'round at the….

We're spinning round and round, the roulette wheel's spinning, it's spinning 'round at the….

We're spinning round and round, the roulette wheel's spinning, it's spinning 'round at the….
Track Name: New Sock Boogie
The stream's streaming
We wade through, dreaming
Hoping and yearning for constant meaning

A static, knowable, comforting Truth,
Tangible proof of our wisdom's youth

We all fear change, yet new socks are so comfortable
We all fear change, yet new socks are so comfortable

Never step twice, once will suffice
The lust for stasis an emotional vice
We long for order, answers, sooth
While missing out on Change's truth

The only truth we ever need
Ostracised with the skeptic's creed
We must all face, rejoice, embrace,
The unending changing all 'round the place

The one true constant, bubbling by
Is an oft-nightmarish lullaby
That all is in change, movement, flux
We need to smile and give no fux

We all fear change, yet new socks are so comfortable
We all fear change, yet new socks are so comfortable
We all fear change, yet new socks are so comfortable
We all fear change, yet new socks are so comfortable
Track Name: Not Healing
There's something evil, selfish, inside me
I'm anxiously mediating it to the world
To stop it escaping, hold it tight to me
Manipulative, unhealthy, mine

Now all I can do is just lie here
Wishing I could get to sleep
Wishing to just forget about it
Forget, repair, escape, this feeling

This feeling's not healing, staring at the ceiling,
Lying here, dead weight on the floor
Can't move, can't think, be bothered trying
To overcome this any more

Can't bear to inflict myself on others
Keep my head low avoid their eyes
Take care, keep unaware my thinking
Deep breath, just got to make it through

The day, seems just like all the others
Can't help but realise
There is no solving of this problem
Of chemicals and hopes and pride

This feeling's not healing, staring at the ceiling,
Lying here, dead weight on the floor
Can't move, can't think, be bothered trying
To overcome this any more

If you hear me, first, I'm sorry
Sorry for your kind concern
This malady regularly,
Paralyses me, lying here
Held from hurting, by my caring
This I'm singing to let you know
Don't be worrying, just understanding
That this song, has no happy end

This feeling's not healing, staring at the ceiling,
Lying here, dead weight on the floor
Can't move, can't think, be bothered trying
To overcome this any more