I'm a Professional

by Ardeem

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  • Digital Album
    Streaming + Download

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    Purchasable with gift card

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    It's beautiful, just beautiful.

    And it comes in a gorgeous digipak. You can really FEEL it, you know?

    AND it is SO professional. You will love it.

    Or, you could chuck the MP3 files in your iTunes library and use the CD mainly as a status symbol – without even taking it out of its case! Perhaps you could leave it around the house as a conversation starter? That way, your friends will like you and think you are interesting.

    So buy it. Right now.

    Includes unlimited streaming of I'm a Professional via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 4 days

      $20 AUD

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  • This is the big-daddy/mama (because Ardeem Inc. is a non-gender-biased organisation) of Ardeem merch. Basically, you get ALL the stuffs:

    • A signed 'Love' CD
    • A signed 'I'm a Professional' CD
    • A literally unique piece of Ardeem ephemera with signed card – basically, something SPECIAL from my life that I have been unable to let go of. Until now.
    • A Hack sweetie (from Africa. Oooh, exotic)
    • A 'Love' Badge
    • A sticker and magnet to help you discover and enjoy ardeem.com/tuesday
    • A 'Love' Card Deck
    • Bonus Download cards for 'Love' and 'I'm a Professional'
    • A 'Love' Iron-on transfer
    • An 'I'm a Professional' Iron-on transfer


    And it actually comes in a bag. So there.

    Includes unlimited streaming of I'm a Professional via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ... more
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      $50 AUD or more 

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1.
Living in my hope, that you Will embrace, comfort support, me too I see you alone through the windowpane Bathed in streaks of dusty glow, I see you, want you, must have, need you That much for sure I know I know. Living in my hope, that you Will embrace, comfort support, me too Whenever I come home, you'll be there My all will always be yours, I swear We all need a little something To help us get up in the morning Come on, you know you can be mine And I'll be yours, we'll be fine We all need a little something To help us get up in the morning Get in the back of my van I'll take you home I'll lay you down You'll squeak and groan No-one's around And there you'll stay Safe in my room Behave yourself and all this could come true soon Living in my hope, that you Will comfort, embrace, support, me too Whenever I come home, you'll be there My favourite, remote-controlled, armchair We all need a little something Help us get up in the morning Come on, you know you can be mine And I'll be yours, we'll be fine We all need a little something To help us get up in the morning Get in the back of my van
2.
I'm a white man - got dem white man blues Ain't got no culture or colour, 'cept these postmodern hues My ancestors did some bad, bad shit 'Cos I'm a sensitive white man - I'm feelin' it The notes in this song are not even my own I took what they had - now I call it my own I'm so enlightened, I bitch and I moan: "Got dey white man blues" Stole my meal from an Indian Stole my beats from an African My laptop was made by a Chinaman And I stole my house from a Koori My moves took from a Brazilian Relaxing I stole from a Chilean And I am just one of the millions We rape, we steal, we pray To our god who is infinite He smashes you, with your chicken guts We build a church near your muddy huts You bow your head in shame Shame on you for your silly games Your funny talk and your odd names Try living with all of the blame Our self-imposed, white man shame Wait, I'm talking like it's us and them This song is part of the problem I just can't help being postmodern Man, being white is tough. I feel it, I got it, da white man blues Dem burnin', dem turnin', dem white man blues Me whiteman, me blue, me white man blues La ba dee la ba di Me white man blues How can I sleep at night (Repeat) I'm a white man - got dem white man blues Ain't got no culture or colour, 'cept these postmodern hues Educated, verbose - I use big words Others, with they brothers, they struggle to be heard But how can we help it, us poor little caucs? Don't got none of our own, 'cept for knifes and forks We have no culture, no accent, no colour Come on guys, let's just share with each other Let's leave the past behind us, we'll all start anew A big brown circle, the circle of life - yeah, we stole that too I'm a white man - got dem white man blues Ain't got no culture or colour, 'cept these postmodern hues Educated, verbose - I use big words Others, with they brothers, they struggle to be heard But how can we help it, us poor little caucs? Don't got none of our own, 'cept for knifes and forks We have no culture, no accent, no colour Come on guys, let's just share with each other
3.
04:00
With a wrench of iron and a will of steel Tighten my cap and make my way to you Pipe to pipe and all around the world Hold tight, I'm coming for you And I think that I can save you And I think that I can save you Setting out to come and get you I know that I can save you, save you I hear your cries in my head at night I see the pain in your smile, I hear your Silent, desperate call for help, you Look out at me, and I see you, and I'm running, jumping, flying Propelled by a force I do not understand Outmanoeuvre those in my way Crack their heads if need be And I think that I can save you And I think that I can save you Take a warp pipe if I need to, Vanquish all to save you And I know that I can save you And I know that I can save you Save you from your misfortune I know that I can save you, save you Tarnished by my past, my soul's bruised, so I Look outside myself and try to save those Broken like me, veneered but suffering, I'm Driven to fix the world, a vain attempt to save my Self Still I thought that I could save you... Still I thought that I could save you... And I thought that I could save you I'd be strong enough to carry you Over lava, life and on through I thought that I could save you And I thought that I could save you Hoped by saving you, that I too Would be whole and content, with you I thought that I could save you... And I thought that I could save you And I thought that I could save you But I'm lacking, not strong enough to Share your load and save you And I thought that I could save you And I thought that I could save you Just to realise that it's not true That I can't really save you I know now that I can't save you Though I really truly wanted to I'm sorry, I can't help you I can't really save you And I thought that I could save you Misguided, confused, I tried to Do it for us, also for me too Now I'm needing someone to save me
4.
02:59
What do I have to say to you? Staring at my computer screen, I try to establish what I mean Establish, accomplish, demonstrate, while fearing that I am too late Too late, too overwhelmed, too slow, too empty, nothing inside to show The spiritual, emotional depth of a thimble, full to the brim with my deep thoughts What do I have to say to you? The crumbling sweetness of a shortbread dream Now what the fuck does that even mean? And the hollow aphoristic, diet-coke colon-cleansing mystics Or unrepentant astrological neo-spiritual, yet capitalist 'Sharing', 'caring' but self-serving, wearing robes and gowns and ever-bearing down on us who just want to Know what it is that we're meant to do Who we are and where we're going Without believing, just wanting knowing What do I have to say to you? Uninterested, uninteresting The weather, TV, the same old things Participation a social capitulation What do I have to say to you?
5.
03:21
You say you'll help me You say you care You say together now Light the lonely dark I gave you comfort I gave you gold The corner of my mind It wonders... I fought, got killed and where were you? You lay asleep beside me I called your name, but you weren't there, Defenseless alone, can't protect me And you weren't there, yet you were near I'm learning now where it is that I stand, clear You can't help me Now I'm waiting for, and I'm waiting for, and I'm waiting for, the morning I wanted you, near me keep me, standing I wanted you, to hold me keep me, intact I wanted you, to protect me, keep up your end of the deal I wanted you, I thought I knew I fought, got killed and where were you? You lay asleep beside me I called your name, but you weren't there, Defenseless alone, can't protect me And you weren't there, yet you were near I'm learning now where it is that I stand, clear You can't help me Now I'm waiting for, and I'm waiting for, and I'm waiting for, the morning Now I'm waiting for the morning Lying, hoping for the day My dreams, my life, alone they haunt me But there's nothing you can do or say I fought, got killed and where were you? You lay asleep beside me I called your name, but you weren't there, Defenseless alone, can't protect me And you weren't there, yet you were near I'm learning now where it is that I stand, clear You can't help me Now I'm waiting for, and I'm waiting for, and I'm waiting for, the morning
6.
At the Kansalla Jackpot, you will roll the dice You close your eyes, call to Allah and pray At the Kansalla Jackpot, praying every night You roll, you flip, you call, you win, you think We'll hit the town, at the Kansalla Jackpot, baby We're goin' down, to roll the dice and what's more, We're goin' down, to the Kansalla Jackpot, baby We're spinning round and round, the roulette wheel's spinning, it's spinning 'round at the…. At the Kansalla jackpot, you must roll the dice The ball's in motion, with blind devotion you pray Uncertainty's looming, doubt is blooming, but still You roll, you flip, you call, you win, you think We'll hit the town, at the Kansalla Jackpot, baby We're goin' down, to roll the dice and what's more, We're goin' down, to the Kansalla Jackpot, baby We're spinning round and round, the roulette wheel's spinning, it's spinning 'round at the…. At the Kansalla Jackpot, your bet's already made, the wheel is spinning Your choices, actions, here displayed, the wheel is spinning No matter what you think, feel, wish, or wanted, were hoping for You've got to dig in, back it up, all fears and doubts ignore Persistence over confidence, persistence over confidence, At the Kansalla Jackpot, it only makes sense, to show persistence, despite your lack of Confidence, overrated, unneeded – the voice in your head can go unheeded In life if you lack confidence, the wheel's already spinning So let's... Hit the town, at the Kansallah Jackpot, baby We're goin' down, to roll the dice and what's more, We're goin' down, to the Kansallah Jackpot, baby We're spinning round and round, the roulette wheel's spinning, it's spinning 'round at the…. We're spinning round and round, the roulette wheel's spinning, it's spinning 'round at the…. We're spinning round and round, the roulette wheel's spinning, it's spinning 'round at the….
7.
The stream's streaming We wade through, dreaming Hoping and yearning for constant meaning A static, knowable, comforting Truth, Tangible proof of our wisdom's youth We all fear change, yet new socks are so comfortable We all fear change, yet new socks are so comfortable Never step twice, once will suffice The lust for stasis an emotional vice We long for order, answers, sooth While missing out on Change's truth The only truth we ever need Ostracised with the skeptic's creed We must all face, rejoice, embrace, The unending changing all 'round the place The one true constant, bubbling by Is an oft-nightmarish lullaby That all is in change, movement, flux We need to smile and give no fux We all fear change, yet new socks are so comfortable We all fear change, yet new socks are so comfortable We all fear change, yet new socks are so comfortable We all fear change, yet new socks are so comfortable
8.
06:20
There's something evil, selfish, inside me I'm anxiously mediating it to the world To stop it escaping, hold it tight to me Manipulative, unhealthy, mine Now all I can do is just lie here Wishing I could get to sleep Wishing to just forget about it Forget, repair, escape, this feeling This feeling's not healing, staring at the ceiling, Lying here, dead weight on the floor Can't move, can't think, be bothered trying To overcome this any more Can't bear to inflict myself on others Keep my head low avoid their eyes Take care, keep unaware my thinking Deep breath, just got to make it through The day, seems just like all the others Can't help but realise There is no solving of this problem Of chemicals and hopes and pride This feeling's not healing, staring at the ceiling, Lying here, dead weight on the floor Can't move, can't think, be bothered trying To overcome this any more If you hear me, first, I'm sorry Sorry for your kind concern This malady regularly, Paralyses me, lying here Held from hurting, by my caring This I'm singing to let you know Don't be worrying, just understanding That this song, has no happy end This feeling's not healing, staring at the ceiling, Lying here, dead weight on the floor Can't move, can't think, be bothered trying To overcome this any more

credits

released October 6, 2013

All tracks composed, performed, recorded and produced by Jacob Kinniburgh

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about

Ardeem Melbourne, Australia

After being raised on a farm, many years at University and a year in Africa, Ardeem has skilfully honed his dynamic personality, extensive knowledge of cows and musical ingenuity to a sharp and shiny point. This point has now become the point of his endeavours. Intensely aware of the possibility of ending up another could-have-been, Ardeem is pulling his finger out.

Good.
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